Test first, lesson later

So I have always been taught by my dad that you will recieve "The test first and the lesson later". This has always been what keeps me thinking straight ahead and walking forward. To know that the hard stuff comes first and then comes the reasons why and how to deal with it. It is an interesting thought. We have always been taught, in school, that we learn a lesson and then tested on that lesson. However this is, I believe, how God works. God has graced us, as his children, with something amazing, free will.

See here is the thing. God EXPECTS us to mess up. This is what makes us human. We are not Christ, who was undoubtedly perfect. We are followers of Him, and although striving to be like Him, we falter. This is the reason why we have been forgiven and the reason why Christ had to suffer and die on the cross. This took me a long time to figure out. After screwing up repeatedly in high school and college, I almost never forgave myself. Never wanted to look at myself in the mirror and was ashamed of who I was, because that is not how I was raised. However, it took much soul searching to learn that it was completely selfish to not forgive myself....let me explain.

Christ died for us, and forgave me of my sins as soon as I repent, which I did. Who am I to know better on who to forgive than Christ? If God, the ruler of everything, sees fit to forgive me, then I find myself being defiant of Him if i do not in turn forgive myself. This brings me to the ultimate point of this blog. I was presented with a test, well multiple tests. I failed them, miserably and with severe consequences, although it could have been much worse. And through all of that, I came out a better man. I came out with the knowledge to teach others about what I have learned so they would not make the same mistakes that I once made. I took this knowledge with me to England, presented it in front of thousands of elementary, Jr. high and high school students. And through this may have even reached some of them. All I can do as a disciple of Christ is plant the seed, God will water it later on.

I am not afraid of dying. This may shock some of you, but it should never be a fear if someone truly finds grace with Christ. If God would like me to die, and if that furthers his kingdom, I am ready. I am ready to do WHATEVER he commands and willing to have whatever the consequences. This is, however, also the problem. It is not always easy to see or hear what God has in store for us. So we wait, patiently, and strive to be that Christ -like figure, even though it is never to be accomplished.

I recently got a tattoo, something I have wanted for a long time and spent a long time making sure what I got was exactly the right thing to get. I ended up getting the christian fish, representing Christ, and having two words in Hebrew below it. The two words say "Lord. Savior." Although these are just two of the many words we call God, these two means the most to me. "Lord" is for me remembering that he is my master. That I gave my life to serving Him in everything I do and I will never forget that. And "Savior" is to remember what he did o the cross at Calgary. He gave his life to save me, and I am forgiven because of that sacrifice. Whatever I do I am already forgiven. There is no better news than this.

So I give you a sort of challenge. Its an easy one and something we can all do. Forgive yourself. There is something in everyones life that we are ashamed, I know this because we are all sinners. So, privately or publicly, forgive yourself. Spend your time with God and find that peace in your life. I guarantee, if you are a follower of Christ, he has already forgiven you.