Respect, Women and Dating (Ephesians 5)

The title of this blog should really be:
"Respect Women WHILE Dating IN THE PURSUIT OF MARRIAGE."

Honestly, this is the biblical principle that has to be upheld. There have been situations in my life that I am extremly adimant on the respect and treatement of women. Abuse sickens me and wheteher I know the person or not, if I see it, I will get involved. This may not be the best way to go about things but I believe that every woman has to be treated with the utmost respect.

Ephesians 5 (along with Matthew 5) became my favorite books in the bible. It describes the way to treat your future wife or the girl your dating. However, from my brother, I have adopted the principle of treating every girl the way you would want someone else to treat your future wife. Would you really want someone taking advantage of your wife? Then why would you do it to someone else's? In Ephesians is explains in verses 22-23 that "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior." I am not trying to point out the submitting part, but more the responsibility that God has laid on man. BE A LEADER! You have to lead your wife or girlfriend spiritually and be able to be the one that they come in time of questions or doubts. This is a heavy "burden" to carry, I know, but it is also essential for a long lasting, Christian realationship. And if you do not think that you can handle this "burden", honestly, you should not be in any type of intimate relationship.

I have believed, since high school, that a real realationship can not start until you are eighteen or even older. (Acxtually in sometimes a bit younger) YES there are exceptions, however in most cases, while in high school, we are not spiritually or emotionally mature for an actual relationship that God blesses and is happy with. There are very few high school couples that are doing devotionals together and the guy is doing something else then trying to get to the next base. High school is the time we need to take with just us and God. To get to know Him better before jumping into the world of dating, the bad part is that the "world" encourages underage dating and sex....this is where we need to set ourselves apart.

I am not saying that you need to stay away from the opposite sex completely, nor am I saying that you cannot "like" someone. What I am saying is that there is no way you can truly LOVE the person you are attracted to. It is falling in lust not love. This is where mistakes happen, mistakes that can not be taken back. I am almost 23 years old, and over the last year I have been strengthening my relationship with Christ and making my walk solid. So when I do meet that girl I am to marry, I will be ready. Mistakes happen, but they don't have to happen continously.

This is not even taking in account the fiunancial situations that you put yourselves into. There is no way that you can be financinally stable enough to have a family at age 18. It is incredibly irresponsible to start off a marriage in debt, this is something that needs to be looked at as well.

Ephesians 5:25-33 goes on to say:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
(author's emphasis)

These verses basically lay it out so perfectly that it is indisputable. I have highlighted some of my favorite parts about it. We, as husbands, are commanded to love our wives as "Christ loved the church". I take this very seriously and literally, as did Christ. He gave everything for the church so that God's purpose would be fulfilled, his life in particular. As a man, I am needed to not only protect my wife spritually but also physically, even if this means putting my self in danger. "Husbands must love their wife as their own bodies". As we treat ourselves with respect and love, we need to treat our wives/ women we are dating even more. It is my philosophy that when a realtionship becomes extremly serious and you are actively pursuing marriage together, God comes first, then she does, and in a distant third is you....in any case. "The two will become one flesh" is a hard verse to take in. You are no longer two seperate beings in God's eyes but one person actively pursuing Him. My body will no longer be mine but hers and vice versa. Lastly, "...must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." This verse wraps up the entire passsage very well. The man is the leader of the relationship and has to be able to leaqd his girlfriend/ wife spirutally, again this is essential! This is extremly important to remember, not just because God tells us to do it (which he does!) but because it will make your relationship that much stronger and lasting.

In teh beginning of this blog, I wrote at the end of the "new" title ......IN PURSUIT OF MARRIAGE. Honestly this is the only reason tyo be ina realtionship with someone. If you are actively pursuing marriage and are ready for it, by all means find the person you belive God has for you and pray together. If you are too young, or not ready for a relationship biblically, what is the point? Pray on that one for a little while....