The Bitter Past and the Sweet Future

So the last two days I have had the opportunity, no privledge, to be able to get to know an old friend all over again. Even though it has been almost twelve years since we had last seen each other, we are developing a friendship that has surpassed anythign that we had before. The reason I bring this up, is that we begun talking about everything, mainly about our past and how its has shaped us into the people we are today. I have taken this opportuntiy to not only get to know an old friend all over again, but also to take another look at my life, and am able to forgive myelf for things that has happened. I realized that even though I have repenetd time and time again, and Christ has forgiven more what I have done, I still havent forgiven myself.

For some of you reading this, if you heard what I did then you wuld think I was crazy to make such a big deal about it. However, I made a major mistake that I will have to explain to someone I love someday, and this will be my hardest moment. I have purposly left out the mistakes that I have made in the past from this post for the sole fact that I do not want you, as the reader, to dwell on it. Also I would like you to realate this to any mistake that you may have in your past that you have not yet forgiven yourself for. So instead of this only being about me and my self pity. I want you to look at yourself, and see if there may be anything that you haven't let go of.

What I didnt understand for the longest time adn still held onto was the feeling that people judge me by my past. However, the closer I became with Christian friends, the more I saw the love that they poured on me and told me without my past, I wouldnot be shaped into the man of God I am today. So although I have many mistakes that I made adn for various reasons, I am cleaned by the blood of Christ of all transgressions. Which I must say, is a pretty amazing feeling. "This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." (Matthew 26:28)

Below is a video of a song many of you probably of heard. As soon as I heard this song by Brandon Heath, I was immediately touched. By his lyrics and the apssion you can tell as he sings. So don't forget to turn down the music player on the right hand side, and listen carefully to Brandon's prayer through song.



So with all that said, I have forgiven myself for everythign I have done, and praise God for letting me survive the things that seem to help make up my character. This is not an excuse to go on and live a life full of sin. We are called to live as Christ did and are unworthy of his grace, yet still have it. "For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live," (Romans 8:13) All I am saying is that you need to move on with your life, Christ has forgiven you and you must forgive yourself as well. I just think its funny that it took a person I haven't seen for more than a decade, and got more information in a 36 hour period than anyone ever has, to show me this, and it is becasue of this that I thank them.

""Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you." (Acts 13:38)