Patience....

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."
(Colossians 3:12)

This is something that I had been struggling with most of my life. Patience on myself, others and most importantly, in God. Recently I have given over control of my life completely to Christ. It hit me one day that this is not my life, I do not deserve it nor do I deserve the grace that I received back when I was 17. Christ, the only perfect person to walk this earth, was given as a sacrifice for ME and everyone else. Regardless of what you have done in the past, present or future, Christ has already paid for it in full! Now I think about this and ask myself why haven’t I given everything to the one that saved me from damnation, which is truly where I deserve to go. Back in the older times, if you saved a man's life, he is your servant forever. The same, I believe, is with Christ. I am his servant for my entire life and I have to be patient so I will be ready to do what He commands of me.

Now, this was a very hard thing for me to do. I always loved being in control of my "destiny" or "fate". Then when things went wrong I knew exactly who to blame, myself. I was not going to blame God for bad things happening, but if I thought I had control, then it was definitely my fault. What I did not understand is maybe things were going wrong because I was trying to do things against God's will, since I truly haven't given up control of my life, well not to the extent that I needed to, which is completely! I love the verse Jeremiah 29:11 for so many reasons and this may the biggest one. God tells us that he has known the plan for us all along, even before we were born and we just have to let him in so he can take control.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD," plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you hope and a future."
(Jeremiah 29:11)

Although simple in text, it says so much in my life. I know I have used it before in another post which basically talks about the same thing as this one, patience in him. Yet another thing I struggled with is trying to figure out what God was doing in my life. Trying to understand where and why he was leading me. Then for my college graduation I received a desk item from my parents. Its glass plaque that has Proverbs 3:5-6 written on it. This verse, along with Jeremiah, allowed me to give up even my understanding of what God was trying to do, because honestly we probably will never understand Him. He calls us to follow, blindly if necessary, and not to understand. If you have heard Jeremy Camp's song "Walk By Faith", it explains it better than I have ever heard before.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

The second part of that really hits me. "...In all your ways acknowledge Him..." This is where I have been lacking. I have been trying to take credit for things that are amazing happening in my life, but what I did not understand is that God was the one that made things happen, not me in the slightest.

So I have praying and meditating on these two verses for some time now and really trying to apply them to my life. In EVERY part of my life. No matter how small or how big, I acknowledge God and praise him for what he continues to do in me. With all these things on my mind, worrying about them and stressing about them. I have finally let go, and understand that there is nothing I can do to make it any more pleasing to God except to give up control. I am his servant and nothing else. I am just a man that strives to be in His image, while living in a sinful world.

So I pray that God gives me the wisdom and patience that I need to serve Him better, and that I do not strive for things He does not want me to have. My life is in God's control and honestly, I would have it no other way.

Amen